My daughter the zen master

I was in the bath relaxing when the sun started shining through the windows and into my eyes. I had to grab my dressing gown and hang it on the shower door because the sunshine was too bright for my eyes. The dressing gown hung down to a level about two inches above the bath. 

I started wondering whether it was possible that the water could reach the dressing gown and make it soggy. I surmised it wasn’t possible since it was too high up and even if I left the tap on it would drain away down the overflow. And even if the overflow was blocked it would drain away into the bathroom. And then I started wondering what would happen next. Well, the house isn’t sealed so the water would drain away from that too.  And then of course it would drain into the sewers and into the sea. 

So, really, in order for my gown to get soggy global sea levels would have raise by at least 30ft or so to reach my gown upstairs. 

That seemed pretty unlikely. 

Then I wondered about a tsunami. That’s pretty unlikely in this part of the world. It would need to be triggered by some freak event like a giant meteor in the Atlantic or something. And even then the sogginess of my gown would be pretty moot I guessed. 

Then I heard a noise. 

And my gown fell off the shower door and into the bath. 

It was rather soggy after all. 

It didn’t take a plumbing catastrophe.  It didn’t take the melting of the ice caps. It didn’t take a tsunami. All it took was the helping hand of my two year old daughter. 

She’s a zen master and she doesn’t even realise. 

  

Day 500: Thank you and goodnight

Well, it’s here. My 500th and final post. How did that happen? 500 days!!! Blimey. Thanks for reading the blog and for all your support over the years. It has meant everything to me, it really has. I have met some great friends, got some invaluable advice and have been able to pour my heart out. You have all been amazing. (I feel quite emotional writing this, but all good things must come to an end!) Please stay in touch if you can. I might come back here and post now and then. We’ll see. I just need time to concentrate on the most precious thing in my world, my family.

So here it is, my final post.

I was going to write an epic conclusion to those 500 days, but in true tired parent style, I just don’t have the wherewithal! So rather than that I thought I might end where I started with the things I learned today. It’s just that these are…

The top five things I learned in 500 days:

Parenting is hard. Actually, it is REALLY hard! But is is also the best thing in the whole wide world. When the going gets tough just count to ten slowly and remember how much you love them all, because you do.

Babies poo. Actually, babies REALLY poo! I’ve never known anything like those early days of POOMAGEDDON when it just gets everywhere. My apologies to the squeamish and especially to Uncle Rob. I seem to have written about poo more than anything else.

PND (Postnatal Depression) is the most difficult illness I’ve ever had to deal with, and I’ve been through a lot in this life. Seeing the person you love fall into sadness and panic at what should be the best time in your life is sometimes impossible to deal with. Sharon has been so brave though. I’m so very proud of her. She’s the best Mum in the world (apart from mine of course!)

When you have kids you really appreciate your family and friends more than ever. It’s not just the support network, though that means everything. It’s also because you realise what your family went through to raise yourself to adulthood. They deserve a medal. If that doesn’t make you love them more than ever, nothing will.

Kids are funny. They are amazing. I was trying to think of my favourite funny moment. Was it when Sandy poo’d on my head? Was it when she made me so tired that I went to the Polling Station to vote in my slippers? No, for me it had to the great spider eating incident of 2013. You can read about it here.

That’s it.

Thanks for everything.

So long and thanks for all the fish.

See you soon,

Matt, Sharon, Sandy & Bobby.x

Things I learned today: your life can completely change in 500 days. It’s been amazing.

Poos (for old time’s sake): Sandy 1 Bobby 2 Daddy – you don’t want to know that surely?!

Daddy skills: 10/10. I had to do it once!

Day 499: Chasing shadows

I’ve had a shadow today. Wherever I go it follows me. In fact it’s such a clever shadow that it even knows where I’m going before I do and wherever I turn to step it is already there.

It may come as no surprise that this shadow is Sandy. She’s very much been a Daddy’s girl today. Some would call it clingy, but I don’t mind really, not when you get endless cuddles.

To be fair, as shadows go, she is very cute.

See you soon,

Matt & Sandy.x

Things I learned today: little girls can be like shadows. Wherever you turn they are there. I love my shadow.

Daddy skills: 6/10.

Day 498: It could have been a brilliant career

It’s been a long old work day. I’m cream crackered. It’s dawning on me that my job that used to be done by two people, each on 35 hours, is virtually impossible by one person on 19 hours. It’s a bit of a nightmare. This is the story of working in public services; you do the work of two or three people for pretty much minimum wage, that in any other sector would pay 40-50k. I’m starting to feel really disillusioned with my work life. People often think running a library is idyllic. It’s not really. I barely touch a book. My day is spent filling in spreadsheets, answering emails, counting dwindling budgets, raising purchase orders, dealing with complaints and thinking of the best way to tell everyone we’re all probably going to lose our jobs.

Gah. I’m working on either splitting myself in half or creating a genetic clone twin. That or re-training.

At least when I got home I had amazing cuddles from Sandy. She seems to have enjoyed her time with Mummy today because when she went to bed she screamed ‘Muuuummmmmyyy cuuuudddlllee’ for twenty minutes.

Thankfully the kids are now both in bed and dinner is on the way. I have an amazing wife.

See you soon,

Matt.x

Things I learned today: I should never have started a career in libraries.

Daddy skills: 6/10.

Day 497: The iPod

Sandy discovered the iPod today. She’s already more proficient at using my iPhone than I am. You should see her scrolling through pictures and playing games. I was using my iPod today to learn a new piece of music but she soon stole it off me. I don’t mind, I’m glad that she already loves music. It was really fun seeing her scrolling through songs and taking a listen. Her favourite so far is the Beatles. That girl has taste!

See you soon,

Matt, Sharon, Sandy & Bob.x

Things I learned today: Sandy has mastered the iPod. It’s funny to think this format will be completely outdated by the time she grows up.

Daddy skills: 7/10.

Day 496: The art of sleep

We had a date day today. Well, date afternoon in any case. We love the kids more than life itself but it sure was nice to have a little break. Don’t worry, we didn’t leave them at home next to a hot stove with a list of chores. Grandma and Grandad were on babysitting duty. It felt a bit odd getting out of the car without assembling a pushchair and wrapping up the little ones in winter clothes.

We don’t do enough of these days really. It’s so nice to be able to walk around hand in hand and talk about the future without worrying about the present. We went to see a film in Gloucester; The Theory of Everything. It’s the film about the life of Stephen Hawking. It’s spellbindingly beautiful. If you get a chance to see it you really should.

The only downer is that we’re now entrenched in the nightly battle to get Sandy to sleep. It’s become a real problem. She used to go down at 7pm on the dot and happily kiss us goodnight. Now she screams at the top of her voice ‘Daaaaaaaaaaddddyyy!!!!’ for an hour. It’s really upsetting. Her bedtime has gone from 7pm to 10:30pm. The other problem we have is that once one goes to sleep the other wakes up. Our evenings have disappeared.

That’s life as a parent!

See you soon,

Matt, Sharon, Sandy & Bobby.x

Things I learned today: if it is an art getting kids to sleep then I’m no Constable.

Daddy skills: 6/10.

Day 495: Tree down

Christmas is officially over in the Stead household. The tree is down, the decorations put away and the last of the chocolate is in our tummies. I’m quite sad. It went far too quickly for my liking. It’s nice to have our lounge back though, even if half of it is filled with toys. Taking the tree down wasn’t the easiest job. Sandy didn’t really understand that I was taking things off the tree and tried to help by putting it all back again. Every time I took a bauble off another one appeared in its place.

Still, I got there in the end. One question though. Are artificial trees supposed to drop all their needles like real ones? I guess it makes them all the more realistic.

See you soon,

Matt.x

Things I learned today: these newfangled artificial trees drop their needles just like real ones. Clever.

Daddy skills: 7/10.

Day 494: Life is like a bowl of coco pops

I had the day off today and headed over to Tewkesbury to have lunch with some old friends. I dropped the kids off with Grandma so Mummy could have some time off and I could catch up with my mates without the distraction of a poorly toddler and baby. It was really nice and a bit odd. We met up at our old haunt; the Black Bear. It was our local for many a year and at one point me and Simon had our own engraved tankards behind the bar. It was a bit different today. Endless pints of ale have been replaced by a nice meal and a small latte. How times change! It was so nice to catch up though and I’m happy and proud to still have good friends from my school days.

Sandy is still pretty poorly with her eyes. She’s been really good with it today and has been giggling at everything despite the oozing goo coming from her eyes. Hopefully she’s starting out on the road to recovery. I hate her being poorly, it’s the most awful thing in the world. She still has a great time at Grandma and Grandad’s though.

Right, I’m off to watch Forest Gump. The kids are in bed and Sharon found it on the telly.

Life is like a box of chocolates…

See you soon,

Matt, Sharon, Sandy & Bobby.x

Ps. The first photo is from breakfast. Sandy and I decided to share breakfast cereal one spoon at a time; coco pops and cornflakes. It was a surprisingly tasty combination.

Things I learned today: Times change, people get older, but my local pub remains the same.

Daddy skills: 7/10.

Day 493: On a New Years Day

Happy New Year!

Do you have any New Year Resolutions? Sharon and I have decided to try not to spend so much time on our phone checking things on the Internet and more time with each other and the kids. It’s been quite nice this afternoon. Me and Sandy had a good few hours of solid playtime. It was great. We cooked pretend food, played a bit of ukulele (Sandy is pretty good for a not-quite-two-year-old), some classic nursery rhyming, hide and seek, and Daddy monster.

Poor Sandy’s eyes are still bad and it has spread to both of them. She ended up in bed with us all last night (and saw in the new year with us.) She’s in much better spirits though thankfully. We’re hoping for a much better night tonight.

Right, now I need to put my phone down for some more hide and seek before bedtime!

See you soon,

Matt, Sharon, Sandy & Bobby.x

Things I learned today: New Years Eve isn’t quite the same with a crying poorly child in your arms.

Daddy skills: 8/10.

Day 492: Eye eye captain

Our poor Sandy is really poorly with conjunctivitis. It’s awful, her right eye looks as though someone has punched her in the face and both eyes are weeping horrible green goo. It’s just awful. Even when she’s happy she looks so sad and when she cries it makes my heart break. I love that little girl so much. We’re doing our best to help her and we have some eyedrops that we’ve been using (with the reward of a chocolate for each drop.)

I just hope she gets over it soon. I’ve got five days off now, the longest I’ve had since I started work again. I was hoping we could have lots of adventures.

So tonight she went to bed exhausted, which is probably for the best. Sharon and I are pretty tired too so I think the most romantic or exciting thing we’ll do is watch a film on telly. That and dealing with the pile of washing up in the kitchen.

The glamorous life of parents! I hope your New Years Eves are much more exciting.

Happy New Year from the Steads!!

See you soon,

Matt, Sharon, Sandy & Bobby.x

Things I learned today: conjunctivitis is very contagious and really awful in kids.

Daddy skills: 6/10.