Day 332: Doe a deer, a female deer

The end of a thirteen hour day and I feel exhilarated. Why is that I hear you ask?! It’s because of my dreamlike drive home. I finished my ukulele lesson (which went really well) and headed off through the countryside homeward bound. It was a beautiful drive. I put Jens Lekman on loud (which reminded me of my proudest moment, the Read & Shout Festival I organised to publicise the plight of libraries) and drove through rolling farmland in the sunset. When I say that I mean on the road, I wasn’t driving through fields and hedges. At one point I was awoken from my reminiscing and had to slam on the brakes. It was amazing though. Two roe deer sauntered across the road in front of me, leapt over a hedge and into a field. It looked like a doe and faun. Gorgeous.

It’s nice out here in the sticks.

See you soon,

Matt.x

Things I learned today: you need to keep your eyes peeled when driving on country roads in the summer night.

Daddy skills: 7/10.

Day 331: OCD and rocks

Just a quick photo today because I’m shattered. I’ve got a 13 hour work day tomorrow too. Groan. Anyway, enough moaning, here’s a photo of Makka Pakka / Sandy collecting stones in her princess car. Just like the In The Night Garden character, she loves obsessively collecting and arranging stones. Our new garden has a lot of them. She even took two in the bath with her yesterday.

See you soon,

Matt, Sharon & Sandy.x

P.S. You can really see Sandy’s bruises from her fall out of the door in this photo. Poor thing.

Things I learned today: stones turn the bath water grey.

Poos: 1.

Daddy skills: 7/10.

Day 330: On the move

We’re all moved in. Well, we’re in the new house anyway and most of the boxes are unpacked. We were helped by our great friends Susie, Andy and Cynthia who came all the way up from Devon an cleaned up the old place like an expert cleaning company. Sharon’s Dad and my Dad were like superstar musclemen movers and my Mum was brilliant unpacking and looking after Sandy. So we got it done with a little help from out friends. We couldn’t have done it without them.

I’m too exhausted to write more now but I’ll post some photos tomorrow when it’s all looking tidier. We’re a bit exhausted and Sandy is too scared of her new room to sleep.

See you soon,

Matt, Sharon & Sandy (plus Titch, friends and family.)x

Things I learned today: boxes multiply like bacteria when you’re not looking at them.

Daddy skills: 7/10.

Day 329: I want the world to stop

Gulp. What a day. I got lost in deepest rural Gloucestershire and was late for work. Meanwhile Sandy fell over, hurt her head and was rushed to hospital. Later on the lorry arrived early and half the move is done already.

And relax.

Don’t worry, Sandy is fine but has an impressive bump. The rest of are exhausted but fine.

And I’ve just walked out of the chip shop with a bag full of food that is bigger than a car.

Tell you more tomorrow!

Matt.x

Things I learned today: I never want to move house ever again.

Daddy skills: 9/10. Exhausted.

Day 328: The eve of normality

We get the keys to our new house tomorrow. I’m both excited and dreading it. It’s going to be a manic day, picking up the keys in the morning, cleaning the new place, working at Cinderford library all afternoon and then starting to move things in the evening.

No rest for the wicked.

I feel a bit sad because I think that Sandy has already started to resent the fact that I’m always away (work, uke lessons and packing boxes) because she keeps having tantrums and won’t give me a single cuddle. I’m not getting much love from Mummy either. She’s so stressed about the move and hormonal in pregnancy that it’s impossible to have a conversation without it feeling like an argument. Even if I just ask something nice, the response is quite often a bit scary, so I’ve mostly just hidden myself upstairs packing, cleaning, fixing things and going out for errands.

It’s been a productive day though. Mum and Dad came over to help out and I finished packing the house and got lots of important odd jobs done. It feels like we’re getting there. I’m looking forward to getting this move over. Thankfully we’ve got family and some amazing friends to help on Tuesday which makes it all a bit less scary and a bit more exciting.

I’m hoping this move is the start of a more stable family time for us. Within two years we will have had a child, got married, moved across the country, finished jobs, started new jobs, moved once more and had another child. Phew!

It’s time for some normality.

See you soon,

Matt, Sharon & Sandy.x

Things I learned today: I think I’m good with two children for now. I’m ready for some stability.

Daddy skills: 7/10. Trying my best.

Day 327: Sweaty Betty

It’s so unbearably hot here that we’ve resorted to keeping Sandy in the nuddy for teatime. We’ve also been like Wayne and Waynetta Slob sitting around in nothing but vest and pants too. It’s the only way to cope.

I was working this morning and somebody came in mentioning that they were going to the beach. I got all excited thinking that there was some kind of secret inland sea around here somewhere that nobody had told me about, but sadly no, they were about to drive for two hours to the nearest seaside. We’re not doing anything like that but we are going to have an early tea and go for an early evening family walk when it’s cooler.

I hope the weatherman is right and that it cools down soon. I don’t much fancy moving house in this.

See you soon,

Matt, Sharon & Sandy.x

Things I learned today: this weather is hard on toddlers. Poor Sandy is a right sweaty Betty.

Daddy skills: 7/10.

Day 326: One window closes…

Bit exhausted today but it’s been a good day. We finally got our window fixed (so that our horrible landlord doesn’t steal our deposit), we got to have a fun afternoon at the park with friends and Sandy’s little playmates, and I gave a fun ukulele lesson out in the sticks.

Just occasionally when I drive home through beautiful countryside in the evening sunshine, after having played some songs on ukulele for an hour to make a living, it seems like everything is working out well.

Work tomorrow, then it’s getting ready for the big move on Tuesday. But for now that can wait. Today was a good day.

See you soon,

Matt, Sharon & Sandy.x

Things I learned today: country roads really do take me home.

Daddy skills: 7/10.

Day 325: Country roads take me home

It was my first day at my second half of my new library job today; this time in Newent. It’s a really nice library and has a bit more of a buzz to it than Cinderford. The staff are really nice too. I’ll tell you what I’m finding surprisingly hard though; standing up all day. Maybe I sat down far more often than I remember as stay at home Dad. Maybe it’ll help me lose some weight. Seriously, I put on so much weight over the last year. I think it’s partly down to spending large amounts of time in one room (especially in the winter) and partly down to the fact that I end up finishing off all Sandy’s meals. What?! I hate waste. I’ve even been known to eat rusks when the time is right.

After work I met Sharon and Sandy (and Titch!) at Hereford hospital for a scan. Everything went fine this time. It was hard though; I wanted to be there for it all because it’s an important time, but we were there for hours, all four of us melting in the heat. Sandy was so well behaved despite us being stuck in an overheated waiting room full of anxious and annoyed pregnant ladies for hours. It was like sitting amongst ticking time bombs. Every now and then one would go off i.e. one of them would go and shout at the poor receptionists. It’s a laborious process; waiting room, bloods, waiting room, scan, waiting room, consultant. The last bit was the worst. We waited over an hour and a half to see the consultant. After we got called in, tired, antsy and dripping with sweat, he took about two minutes to look at the notes, say all was okay and book another scan.

Sigh.

At least we’re getting to know the hospital. I could get from the car park to any of the following: triage, women’s health, maternity ward, from the car park with my eyes closed. That bodes well for the big day.

See you soon,

Matt, Sharon, Sandy & Titch.x

Things I learned today: Titch is looking fine and dandy and is 4.5lbs!

Daddy skills: 8/10 for getting from Newent to Hereford hospital in under half an hour by navigating narrow country back roads.

324: Men at work

My first day as the breadwinner wasn’t too bad. I missed my girls like mad but it was nice to get out and do something different. It’s certainly going to be a different experience working at rural libraries as opposed to London ones. I was told today was a busy day but we had about the same amount of people all day as you get at Brixton library in fifteen minutes (and that’s no exaggeration.) There are pluses though. It’s very gentle. You almost do everything in slow motion. And today’s photo is a picture of where I’ll mostly be eating my lunch. It was just me, the birds, the jumping fish, the blue sky, the forest and a lake. Beautiful.

Tomorrow I’m at Newent library. It’ll be interesting to see what it’s like. One thing for sure, it’ll be easy to get to. It’s twenty metres from our new house!

See you soon,

Matt (yes, just Matt!).x

Things I learned today: the new job isn’t too bad so far.

Sleep last night: 6 hours.

Day 323: Fin. Cue the titles.

Well, this is it. They think it’s all over. It is now.

The end.

Fin.

My last day ever as a stay at home Dad. Tomorrow I start work in the library and that coupled with my ukulele lessons takes me up to full time. It’s Sharon’s turn now and to be fair it’s going to be harder for her as she’ll have two to look after. For me though, the dream is over!

It has been both hard and enjoyable, crazy and incredible. I’ve had the lows like Sandy and I being poorly, the highs of picnics in the park, and the downright silly like Sandy’s spider eating antics and my accidental displays of public nudity. All in all it’s been a blast and a time that I will cherish in my memory for all eternity.

People warned me it would be hard. Nothing can prepare you though for something like trying to deal with a poorly teething baby when you’ve had three hours sleep. You just have to get on with it and learn how to cope. And that’s the thing. Employers look down on people taking a break to raise children but I’ll tell you what, the skills I’ve learned in the last year outweigh anything I’ve learned in the workplace. Multitasking? Try hoovering a three floor house with a toddler under your arm, dinner in the oven, whilst simultaneously planning in you head what you’re going to do for the rest of the week. Patience? Try keeping your head on two hours sleep whilst your child screams in your ear all night when they should be sleeping. Organisation? Try planning a week worth of meals (three a day) on a budget, your baby activities, sleep patterns, doctors appointments, housework, visits, chores. I could go on, but you see what I mean.

And what I mean is it hasn’t been a waste. Anything but. And it should never be viewed that way. Being a stay at home parent is a full
Time job. It has made me a better person, not just in fatherhood but in all parts of life. At least I think so.

The other thing they don’t tell you before you become a stay at home parent; it’s fun! Sure, it’s hard and at times you’re pulling your hair out, but there are so many magic moments along the way. All those happy moments in the library, at picnics, walks by the river, playing games. The best bit is seeing your child develop and grow before your eyes. It’s incredible. When I started as stay at home Dad Sandy could barely crawl. As I type this she’s running around the picnic blanket and helping herself to a ham sandwich.

It’s been the best.

It’s over now and I am sad, but I’m also trying to concentrate on the positives. I’m looking forward to something different and having adult conversations more than a few times a week. I’m looking forward to quiet moments alone, even if it’s just my drive to and from work.

But I’m going to miss Sandy so much. I don’t know if I’ve ever told you how amazing it is to know that wherever you go you have this little person next to you that loves you unconditionally. It’s comforting, reassuring and, well, lovely. I’ll miss that. I know I’m biased, but I think my daughter is amazing. I know I’ll see her now and then through the week but I’ll miss those constant smiles, giggles, kisses and cuddles.

Ok, I’m rambling. I have to end this somehow.

Well, let me end by saying this isn’t the end! I’m going to continue to blog. I’ve loved telling you about my days and having support and friendship there at all times. It’s been amazing. So if you don’t mind, I’ll keep writing to you and continue the journey. I’ll let you know how my return to work goes, I’ll tell you about the move and hopefully more excitingly, I’ll write to you about the birth of our second child.

I can’t always guarantee that my blogs will be as long or insightful (not that they always are now!) Some days I’ll be too tired to write much. But I’ll always write as long as you want me too. I enjoy it too much to stop.

So thanks for everything.

Thanks for being part of it all.

It’s been emotional!

See you soon,

Matt & Sandy.x

Things I learned today: it’s the end of an era. After 323 days of stay at home fatherhood it comes to an end.

Poos: 1.

Daddy skills: 10/10. C’mon, I’ve got to do it once?!

Sleep last night: 6 hours.