Day 401: Bobbytime!

Today I was reminded of one of the great things about new babies. Mummy and Sandy were out at the library for Bounce and Rhyme. I was at home with Bobby but had lots of lesson prep to do. I had to work upstairs with the printer and wasn’t sure what to do with Bobby. Then I remembered.

Plop.

I lay him in the centre of the bed and bish, bash, bosh, he was as happy as Larry. No crawling off, no going through our drawers, no jumping up and down on the bed like a trampoline.

These newborns have their benefits.

I’m not sure Sharon would agree. He’s been crying and sicking up all evening whilst I’ve been at work apparently. Maybe he just missed his Daddy. We’re all cuddled up now and happy! He likes to snuggle into my neck. To be fair, I think I just got lucky.

I love this baby so much. He’s amazing.

See you soon,

Matt, Sharon, Sandy & Bobby.x

Things I learned today: New babies are amazing…when you catch them at the right time.

Daddy skills: 7/10.

Day 400: Jackson Pollock number nine

It feels like it’s been a bit of a long day today. Work was a bit tedious and Bobby is needing non stop burping. He’s doing incredibly well though and putting on weight like a proper little chubby monkey! He’s up to 8 pounds 10 ounces now.

Today’s photo is of Sandy though. I couldn’t resist. Here’s her painting the table with her yogurt whilst no one was looking. I’d like to be angry but who could be angry at that little cute face?

See you soon,

Matt, Sharon, Sandy & Bobby.x

Things I learned today: it’s possible to make wonderful Jackson Pollock-esque abstract paintings with a pot of petit-filous.

Daddy skills: 7/10.

Day 399: Autumn watch

Autumn must definitely be on the way. Hang on, it’s here already isn’t it? Are we in it? Anyway, Sandy is already enjoying the fruits of autumn including munching blackberries off the brambles and jumping up and down in the crunchy leaves. On our evening walk she was in her element. I might introduce her to conkers next weekend.

In the meantime Bobby continues to grow apace. He’s filling out now. He’s developed a cheeky double chin just like his Daddy. He’s got a very cute little pot belly too. I love him so much already. I always worried I could never love a new baby like I love Sandy, but it’s not going to be a problem!

See you soon,

Matt, Sharon, Sandy & Bobby.x

Things I learned today: there’s not a child in the world that can resist the crunch of freshly fallen autumn leaves.

Daddy skills: 7/10.

Day 398: Chicken for dinner

I’m feeling a bit less fragile today. Grammy looked after Bobby for the night and Sharon did breakfast so I could lie in. It’s amazing what a bit of sleep will do. We had a lovely day out in Hereford too. Before we dropped her off at the station Grammy treated us to a Nandos, which is always a treat. Yum!

Bobby has been cuddly today and Sandy has been super cute, which is enough to cheer anyone up. Though I did feel a bit guilty tonight when after putting her to bed I could still hear her making her ‘mwaaaaah!’ kissing noises when I was downstairs. She’s amazing that girl.

See you soon,

Matt, Sharon, Sandy & Bobby.x

Things I learned today: Nandos is still a family favourite.

Day 397: Loneliness of a no distance runner

Today has been really weird. I drove over to Ross and took Bobby and Sandy to bounce and rhyme on my own. Sharon didn’t feel up to it and Grammy stayed at home too. It was a bit scary juggling all the equipment, buggy, baby bjorn and kids, but at the same time I felt really proud of myself getting out and about with them.

It was really good seeing my friends too. We went to Costa for lunch afterwards. Everyone was so lovely with Bobby and helped out lots with Sandy. It made me feel very lucky. On the way back for some reason when I turned around and saw my two kids asleep in the back of the car I felt like crying.

I can’t really explain it. Mostly it was happiness and a feeling of overwhelming luckiness to have such beautiful children. They’re amazing and mean everything to me. There was something else that is harder to explain too. It was loneliness. I can’t explain it any other way. I think it’s partly because me and Sharon are like ships that pass in the night. Now I’m at work and Sharon is being amazing at being on Bobby night duty, whenever I’m at home Sharon is either catching up with things or sleeping and I’m working or being with Sandy. I guess because poor Sharon is still recovering and because of the rush of visitors we’ve not really had time to be a family. I expect everyone goes through something like this, but it’s hit me hard.

I just feel lonely.

I think it’s also compounded by the fact that everything has changed and I don’t get the time with Sandy I used to have. I can feel the anxiousness in myself and Sandy too as a result. Thankfully the moments we do get together are really precious and I’ve been enjoying spending time cuddling up with a book in the morning and at bedtime. It feels precious.

This is no poor reflection on anyone, especially not my beautiful wife who has been beyond incredible. I’m so proud of her and all she’s been through. She’s amazing. It’s just stupid old me, stupid old tiredness delerium and my stupid emotions. I feel like I need to be the strong one at all times and I worry that anytime I share feeling like I’m under pressure Sharon feels like I’m criticising her for putting me in this situation. I’m
not. Not at all. She’s been at work whilst I’m at home for a year. Now it’s my turn. And it’s my decision to try and start my own incredibly time consuming business. It’s just sometimes I need to share how hard it is. It’s not a criticism of anyone.

I just feel sad.

See you soon,
Matt.x

Things I learned today: I still don’t understand myself after 35 years.

Daddy skills: 6/10.

Day 396: Elmer

Feeling pretty exhausted after a 12 hour working day. My spirits were lifted by my lovely students though. They’ve come so far and we’re playing incredibly well. It makes me feel like a proud parent. It was a hard drive back. I started hallucinating. I’m sure I saw an elephant in one of the dark fields. Now I know we have some amazing wildlife around here but I think it stops short of elephants.

See you soon,

Matt.x

Things I learned today: there are wild elephants in Gloucestershire. Maybe.

Daddy skills: 6/10.

Day 395: If you go down to the woods today

We had a really nice walk around the arboretum today. Grammy is down visiting too so we all went along. Bobby was snug as a bug in a rug tucked into my chest in the baby bjorn. Sandy was free to wander at will, which she absolutely loved. Mummy must be recovering well because she came for a walk too.

It was so nice to wander around as a family and the weather was nice and cool, which is just the way I like it. We’re definitely going to have to get a nature scrapbook for Sandy. Today she collected crab apples, dandelions, a daisy, an acorn and an oak leaf. It’s so great seeing her out there learning about nature. She’s even started to take my advice that red berries = danger. If anyone should know the dangers of eating the wrong thing it’s me. I had to go to hospital when I was six years old after eating very poisonous laburnum seeds. Yuk. Hopefully Sandy won’t make the same mistake I did! I had a fairly idyllic childhood but it’s a miracle I survived to adulthood. The laburnum seeds was just the start. I once had a fight with an adder and also abseiled a railway bridge using a reel of string. Obviously Sandy won’t be as daft as Daddy. Hopefully.

See you soon,

Matt, Sharon, Sandy & Bobby (and Grammy too!).x

Things I learned today: we can fit two children, us and a Grammy into our car. Just.

Daddy skills: 7/10.

Day 394: Missing you

It was my first ukulele evening class of term. It was surprisingly tiring, but I got through on adrenalin. The worst thing though was leaving a crying Sandy behind and not being able to go on our evening walk. Sharon and Grammy managed to calm her down eventually, but it breaks my heart walking down that garden path whilst Sandy screams whilst looking longingly in my direction. I just love her so much. Tomorrow I’m going to spoil her a bit and take her out for an adventure. I’m not sure where yet, but we’re going to have fun.

See you soon,

Matt.x

Things I learned today: leaving Sandy to go to work never gets easier.

Daddy skills: 6/10.

Day 393: Little places

I’ve been at work at Cinderford Library this afternoon. I’m on the way back now and the day is so nice that I stopped to have a little breather. Standing here looking out from the forest towards the Wye Valley and the Black Mountains I feel so at peace. The birds are singing, the larks are ascending and everything is quiet. Sometimes I really miss the business of London. Mostly I don’t though. Especially with moments like this.

Working and looking after a family with two kids is proving exhausting already. That’s why little moments like this are important. That’s one of the nice things about a quiet drive home from work, I finally get some me time.

Well it’s been glorious, but I better get back to it. I say that with no negativity. I can’t wait to see everyone, especially that excited squeal I still get from Sandy when I walk through the door.

See you soon,

Matt.x

Things I learned today: those little moments of peace in a day are like little recharges.

Daddy skills: 8/10 for being up with Sandy all night and still getting up early to make breakfast.

Day 392: Hi de hi

Today’s picture is what happens when you merge a photo of Sandy with her Daddy. I think she looks pretty good, kind of like a cross between a baby hipster and Sue Pollard.

See you soon,

Matt & Sandy.x

Things I learned today: I left it far to late to prep and plan all my ukulele classes. Running out of time.

Daddy skills: 6/10.